A Year of Brain Freeze

I have had quite a year of it. I moved to Bali. I went a little crazy. I started a new job. I had yet another rooster moved. I scurried around, ducking and weaving from the constant noise; a rooster here, a jackhammer there, the constant banging of construction, and the thumping bass shaking my house.

I chose my focus and my focus was noise. And so noise became my life. As is what tends to happen when we focus on something.

I did my damndest to control everything around me in my usual style in order to maintain my sanity (or so I tell myself), and I became gripped with a feeling of anxiety, because it takes a lot of energy to attempt to control the world around me, as well as it being, well, you know, impossible. And the most defeating thing about all of this control is the constriction it has brought to my ability to allow great pleasure and joy into my life.

So I am shifting my focus. I want to expend my energy on things that bring me joy; my children, my family, my friends, my love of learning new things, reading and swimming and, very occasionally, getting sandy.

I want to shift my focus on all that I have rather than what I lack. And so I begin this new focus with something that I am hugely grateful for. In the first year of lockdown I thought, hey, why not try my hand at writing children’s stories? I had an idea for a story and I sent it to my sister for feedback and promptly forgot about it.

Around Christmas time last year, I started to get packages being delivered to our home. I wasn’t sure if I should open them before Christmas as it was Secret Santa season, but I couldn’t resist opening one of them. And when I opened it, my heart exploded and I literally fell onto the floor with a huge sob.

My incredibly thoughtful and creative sister had spent her days illustrating my little story. She had put my girls in it, and remembered their favourite outfits. Who does this kind of thing? Well, my sister does. My heart was full and it still is full every time I see it on the shelf and every time my girls want to read it again, so that they can see themselves on each page. Although, admittedly, they are confused as to why they eat fruit instead of candy, because candy is their favourite thing (but don’t tell anyone).

This book is a total gift for me and my family and I am forever grateful to my sister for taking inspired action. It’s available on Amazon, yaah, because again, she has taken even more action.

So this is me, being inspired by my sister, to just start writing again; to take action on the things that I want, rather than my constant focus on what I don’t want.

I hope you can do the same.